Teaching God’s Design for Sex and Gender to Students
author’s note: some of the ideas and structure for this article have been adapted from a talk given by Walt Mueller (of CPYU) at the Southeast Youth Leaders Conference in 2023. If you want to engage this content deeper, consider attending CPYU’s Symposium on Traditional Biblical Sexuality in a Changing Youth Culture.
Our students are being bombarded by the lies of the culture about sexuality and gender. The LGBTQ movement is spreading rapidly across our country and world, and most people, as well as some Christian denominations, are beginning to think that same-sex marriage and transitioning from male to female is normal and should be accepted. C.S. Lewis once said, “The most dangerous ideas in our society are not the ones being argued, but the ones that are assumed.” As youth leaders, we must be like David’s mighty men in 1 Chronicles 12:32 and recognize the times we live in so we know how to counter our culture's lies with the truth from God’s word.
Understanding The Times
According to the latest Barna research on Gen Z, 25% identify as LGBTQ, 70% believe it is acceptable to be born one gender and feel like another, and 30% personally know someone, most often a peer, who has changed his or her gender identity. Sexuality and gender are topics that youth leaders and parents cannot ignore. The question is not if our kids will be discipled on the topic of sexuality and gender; rather, the question is who will disciple them. The teachings of the world or the truth of God’s word?
In his talk on teaching God’s design for sex and gender, Walt Mueller highlights how the culture is constantly discipling our students about sexuality and gender through movies, shows, music, and social media. Our students are interested in understanding the topic of sexuality and gender because God made us sexual beings and adolescence is an innate season of life for this kind of questioning. However, since the Fall, we are broken and our desires are disordered, which means the good desires God initially gave us often go in bad directions.
Mueller says the two major questions our students are asking are “Who am I? (Identity formation),” and “What do I Believe? (Worldview Formation). Once we have recognized the times, we must seek to navigate these two questions by teaching our students a biblical worldview about gender and sexuality.
The Purpose of Our Sexuality
Sex is a good gift from God. And yet, we often start with God’s “don’ts” instead of with God’s “do’s.” This can give our students a skewed image of the goodness of our sexuality and how we should live it out to God’s glory.
We can see from Genesis 1-2 that the two-fold purpose of sex was ultimately given to us to serve our creator through multiplying and filling the earth with more image bearers and to enjoy delighting in our spouse through the one-flesh union of sexual intimacy between a man and woman.
When it comes to sexuality, three words are often associated with the term: identity, desires, and actions. I want to walk through each of them briefly to see how the Bible describes them according to salvation history: creation, fall, redemption, and restoration. Walking through these four points of the story of redemption will disciple our students to view sexuality and gender through God’s eyes and not the world’s.
Creation
Identity
Paul Tripp says, “The four most important words that tell us about sexuality are ‘in the beginning God.’” To help our students understand who they are, we must start at the beginning of the book of Genesis. From Genesis 1:26-28, we see that our true identity as humans is bound up in being made in God’s image as male and female. The Imago Dei is a complex topic, but in his book Holy Sexuality, Christopher Yuan provides four key truths about being made in God’s image:
It is good and should be seen as a gift of God’s blessing (Gen. 1:31).
It is unique because only humans can resemble God, have a relationship with God, and represent God on the earth.
It is directly related to being made male and female.
It points us to Christ, who is the perfect image of God (Col. 1:15; Heb. 1:3).
Since there is so much confusion surrounding a gender binary in our culture, I want to spend a little more time unpacking how being made in the image of God is directly related to being made male and female. In the third line of Hebrew poetry in Genesis 1:27, the author replaces “image of God” with “male and female” to symbolize the close connection between being made in the image of God and being made male and female. This means being made male and female is physical, spiritual, and essential in defining and making up who we are as humans. God cares about our material and immaterial selves since our personhood, as his image, comprises a physical body and an immaterial spirit.
As God’s image, men and women are uniquely distinguished by God in relation to one another. This distinction is ordered by God, not humanly constructed. Also, the Bible teaches that our gender is defined and is inextricably linked to our biological sex as male and female. Our gender identity is not chosen but is graciously given to us by God in making us either male or female. Yuan writes this about the inseparable link between our gender and identity as human beings:
“Being created in the image of God and being male or female are essential to being human. Sex (male and female) is not simply biological or genetic, just as being human is not simply biological or genetic. Sex is first and foremost, a spiritual and ontological reality created by God. Being male or female cannot be changed by human hands; sex is a category of God’s handiwork-his original and everlasting design.” (Holy Sexuality, pp.21-22)
Gender distinctions are necessary for humanity's flourishing and God's glory. Since all people are made in God’s image, they have equal value and are worthy of dignity, honor, and respect, regardless of ethnicity, sex, or socio-economic background.
Desires/Actions
When God made Adam and Eve, he gave them sexual desires for one another to be enjoyed in a one-flesh covenant union for life. Therefore, at creation, desires for sexual intimacy with the opposite sex were good desires, and these desires were to be acted upon in a covenant marriage between one man and one woman for life. The ultimate purpose of sex was to serve and worship the Lord and to allow the couple’s affections for one another to overflow into service in the lives of others. Sex is a metaphor of the perfect intimacy God shares with his people through the sexual intimacy shared between a husband and wife. It is ultimately a picture of the gospel and our relationship with Jesus (Eph. 5:22-33). Other purposes for sex include the consummation of marriage, procreation (to fill the world with God’s image), and love and pleasure (intimacy).
Fall
God has clearly defined our identity in Genesis 1-2. We are made in his image as male and female. Our sexuality and gender are good gifts from God that should be cherished and enjoyed in the way he designed them to function. However, once Adam and Eve disobeyed God and sin entered the world, our understanding of identity was corrupted. Mueller reminds youth workers that it all happened through four words, “Did God really say?” (Gen. 3:1). Adam and Eve’s sin came from doubting God’s goodness and his word. They listened to their desires and fleshly cravings instead of the Lord (vs. 6).
Adam’s sin affected him and Eve and the entire human race (Rom. 5:12-14). The result of sin is death (Gen. 2:17; Rom. 6:23), and we are now born with a corrupted sinful nature. Sin affects every part of us, including our desires (Rom. 3:10-17; Eph. 4:18; Is. 64:6; Mark 7:21-22). Because of our sinful nature, everything we do is affected and tainted with sin.
Even though our sinful nature distorts our understanding of who we are, it does not define our identity. Our sinful nature is not who we are but how we are. It is not a part of our essence as humans but a corruption of our essence. Even though our essence has been corrupted by sin, God’s image has not been damaged or marred by sin; rather, we have been damaged by sin. We are still in God’s image after the Fall (Gen. 9:3; James 3:9), but sin has affected our ability to portray God’s image correctly. Our special connection to relate with and represent God has been badly damaged, and we no longer reflect his likeness and attributes like we were created.
One of the ways we wrongly reflect God is through our sexuality and gender. Instead of having good desires for the purposes of sex defined in Genesis 1-2, our desires, thoughts, intentions, and actions are now corrupted and bent in directions God did not intend (sexual immorality, fornication, homosexuality, pornography, etc.). Instead of finding our identity in God and being made in his image, we allow our feelings and desires to define us. Because of sin, we begin to think that the way God made us male and female is not good, and we begin to create our own identity and meaning out of who we want to be instead of who God created us to be.
Redemption
Our sin has corrupted everything, including our identity, desires, and actions regarding our sexuality and gender. But praise be to God that he has made a way for us to be cleansed of our sin, our false perceptions of identity, and our depraved desires and actions through the person and work of his Son, Jesus Christ! Through turning from our sin and placing our faith in Jesus’s perfect life, sacrificial death, and glorious resurrection, we can be forgiven and cleansed of all our sin, including all of our sexual sin and misplaced identity! Jesus redeems our sexuality and gender in three ways.
Incarnation
By taking on flesh and becoming a human being, Jesus affirmed the goodness of the body and human sexuality. As a man, Jesus also affirmed God’s good design for sex and gender through his earthly ministry by declaring that God made us male and female, and marriage is between one man and one woman for life (Matt. 19:4-5). Lastly, through Jesus taking on flesh, he can now sympathize with our weakness as our great high priest.
Justification and Forgiveness from Sexual Sin
By Jesus’s death in our place, he paid the penalty for our sins so that through faith in him, we could be forgiven (Rom. 5:6-10). The wonderful truth about the atonement of Jesus is that his blood was shed for every sin we have ever committed. This means that there is nothing that you or your students have done that cannot be covered by the blood of Jesus, including sexual sin. This is what Paul expounded upon to the church in Corinth by telling them that even though they were sexually immoral, idolaters, adulterers, practicing homosexuality, and other things, they were washed, sanctified, and justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ (1 Cor. 6:9-11)!
Through faith in Christ, we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of all our sins, and have now been declared righteous in God’s sight (Eph. 1:7). What freedom the gospel provides, including those who have fallen into sexual sin!
Sanctification
Jesus’ life embodied what it means to be holy – and that includes sexual holiness. He lived and taught the sexual ethic that is pleasing to God, re-establishing God’s design for sex and calling us to pursue holiness in our sexuality. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, our hearts are changed and made new, our desires begin to be transformed, and our actions begin to produce good fruit for God (Col. 3:5). The call for all people in Christ is to pursue holiness, which includes holy sexuality. This looks like faithfulness in a covenant marriage between a husband and wife, or chastity in singleness (Eph. 5:3).
This does not make temptation go away, and that includes sexual temptations. As followers of Jesus, we must die to ourselves, our desires, and our wants because we believe that walking in holiness with Christ is even better than walking in sin. When we come to Christ, our bodies are no longer our own but belong to the Lord. Therefore, we must seek to glorify God with our bodies (1 Cor. 6:18-20). Jesus’s redemption makes all this possible by freeing us from sin and our lustful cravings and giving us the power to present our bodies as instruments of righteousness (Rom. 6:11-14; 13:11-14).
Restoration/Consummation
As wonderful as today’s redemption in Jesus is, full restoration will not take place until Christ returns. This is important for our students to remember because until Jesus returns, we will still struggle with our old sinful nature. We will still have to fight against temptation. Even though we have been forgiven by the blood of Christ, we will still have to deal with the consequences of our sinful actions on earth.
But when Christ returns our transformation into God’s perfect image will finally be complete. Our physical bodies will be raised from the dead and fully glorified. All that was corrupted by sin will be completely healed and restored. We will have glorified bodies and holy desires and will walk in perfect obedience to God’s commands as we enjoy him, serve him, and worship him for all eternity - as male and female image bearers!
The story of redemption testifies to the goodness of sexuality and gender, how they have been corrupted, how they can be redeemed, and how they can be restored. Helping students view their sexuality and gender through this lens will prevent them from buying the lies of the culture and equip them to know who they are, what to believe about their gender and sexuality, and how to walk in holiness by faith in Christ.