5 Ways to Partner with Parents
This article is part of a series about the youth pastor’s ministry to parents. You can find the rest of the series with the Partnering with Parents tag. For more about family ministry and partnering with parents, listen to our podcast episodes with Anna Meade Harris, Kristen Hatton, Jared Kennedy, and Walt Mueller.
Parents are a massive part of biblical youth ministry. In many ways, they are the backbone of the ministries we serve. Too often, we gripe or groan about parents' decisions instead of praying, supporting, serving, and making a genuine effort to know the parents in our ministry. Partnering with them is the job of a dedicated youth pastor who cares to shepherd the family.
But how do we do that?
Below are five practical ways to partner with parents. Please note, these assume that you are already sending regular communication about youth ministry events. Look for ways to make a parents newsletter a “value” to parents by including links to helpful articles and a paragraph and discussion question about the next youth group message, but a parents newsletter is the bare minimum of partnering with parents.
Of course you will not pick every way mentioned, but my hope is that a few of them will help you develop stronger relationships with parents in your ministry. Please keep in mind, the most effective approach is not to do everything but to pick one or two your ministry can implement consistently over an extended period.
Don’t Be Afraid to Invite Your Parents to Ask Questions and Share Feedback
As we partner with parents, we remember that they likely hear from their students both directly and indirectly. As youth leaders, we should not be afraid to invite them to ask questions as well as to share thoughts with us about what is helping or not helping their students. A practical way to do this is by sending out regular surveys to them that invites them to share their hearts with you. This displays an openness towards them as a parent and allows them a more controlled space to offer their opinions.
Offer Ways to Help Them Engage in Meaningful Conversations
Parents of teenagers often struggle to connect with their teenage children. Part of our job in partnering with parents is by helping them engage in regular spiritual conversations with their children. As a part of your teaching plan or curriculum, offering a parent discussion sheet can be a huge benefit for car conversations or spiritual discussions at home. It also is a great way for your parents to keep up with what is being taught in your youth ministry. (tip: if you print these out and hand them to students, the parents will never get them. Send these discussion sheets/questions to parents in your regular newsletter or via a texting service.)
Provide a Regular Space for Parents to Meet, Engage, and Grow Together
Another practice that grew our ministry to parents was our parents' breakfast. Every other month, during our Sunday school hour, we invite parents to eat and engage with one another.
We use this time to share on pertinent topics that their students are wrestling with and discuss ways to walk them through those challenges. These experiences and insights foster a supportive network that moves beyond the church walls. Inviting the occasional guest speaker can offer valuable perspectives and enrich the overall experience for parents seeking guidance and connection.
Connect With Parents Through Regularly Scheduled Meals or Meetings
Nothing on this list compares to the simplicity of sitting down with a parent to talk, pray, and encourage. Connecting with parents on a personal level will serve your ministry well. On a relational level, it will allow you to grow your relationships with parents in your ministry. As you do this, you gain valuable trust that provides mutual encouragement.
One practical way I do this is by inviting every dad involved in our ministry to lunch or coffee at least once a year. These meals allow me to ask questions, minister, and pray with the dads who need encouragement and community. Spreading these out keeps these conversations fresh and prevents burning yourself out.
Invite Parents to Do Ministry With You
One great way to partner with your parents is to invite them to ministry with you. Not every parent will be called to lead a weekly small group (although some might!), but parents might want to help with special events, organize other parents in fellowship times, or maybe they will cook food for students. When you serve with your parents, the bond and trust continue to be fostered and grow. When parents know the ministry that God has called us to do, they are more likely to share with other parents who in turn, may bring their families to church.
Remember, as a youth leader, you are partnering with parents. That does not mean you have to look at a list like this and be overwhelmed, pick one or two that will work in your context and slowly implement them over a one to three-year period. In the in-between, spend specific time praying for your parents, creating space for your parents to connect, and doing life with them. Parents are underserved and often overlooked. Amid the stresses that parenting brings, working with them to bring places of rest will profoundly benefit your ministry as a shepherd and leader.